he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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