I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
