Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
