god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
