today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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