He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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