everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
