dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
