Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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