we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
