Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
