I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize