and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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