PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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