My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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