Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
