First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
