I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
