Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
