you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just high enough for therapy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
