Porn is love you can see.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
