so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
But we have bathrooms and they dont
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
