He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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