She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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