Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize