"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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