everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
