Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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