my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
