Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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