I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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