They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
