forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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