wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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