i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
