His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
