Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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