My liver just broke up with me...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
