Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
