no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
