If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
