I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
