i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
