it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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