i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
