do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
