all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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