Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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