I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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