There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
