So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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