I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
