I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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