Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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