Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
