I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
