Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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