Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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