So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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