Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
