What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
