what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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