woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize