But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
