i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
