Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize