but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
