I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
