Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize