sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
