i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
